On a recent trip to Vancouver I came across a quaint little store in the Kitsilano neighbourgood, Cupcakes by Heather and Lori.
What’s better than cupcakes? Not only does it look like the dream playhouse of my five year old self, the wafting scents are sugary vanilla tastegasms. According to their website, you can design your own cake, or create tiered cupcake racks for catering events. Some clever marketer chose the deliciously vibrant colours and referenced a 1950’s aesthetic.
The display case inside offers visitors fresh cupcakes and coffee. I had an urge to rip off the sneeze guard and shove the cupcakes in my mouth, smearing them all over myself in the process. One lemon. One vanilla. One chocolate. One coconut. The sales girl then abandons her prim demeanor, rips off her pink apron, climbs on the table, and joins me in our food bacchanal. Then the ladies in pony tails and overpriced yoga pants hop in and do the same, followed by men in business suits, then the mailman, and finally, the elderly butcher across the street. Food orgy. Oh yes. Nothing would piss off the ultra health conscious and prissy food police more than a frenzied, pointless, wild glucose indulgence.
Instead, I politely ordered a coffee and a Red Velvet: “Red cocoa cake topped with cream cheese frosting and dusted with sugar.” Yum-my!